That you are here is indication there is something for you to create, be and do. With every new idea your life becomes a canvass to be filled. There is nothing to complete because life is always in motion, life is always evolving and you are always growing. Nothing you have done so far was the end only the first in the series of steps waiting for more to be added to form that which you will become. Worry not that all the education, jobs, activities, or creations do not seem to go together for they will all mesh together as the collective ingredients in what you will create, be and do in the future.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Paying Attention to What you Want

I have paid microscopically close attention, all of my life, to what others think and want. I have listened and given everyone around me, since I was very little, what they wanted or needed. I have done what others wanted or what I believed they wanted according to what their previous orders were resulting in me becoming a person that was a collection of everyone’s opinion I had absorbed as my own.
Of course this is no one else s fault, but my own. We are not trapped as we have become. We can change our present condition, thoughts, habits or beliefs. I have said before that for me to really start listening to what I wanted and change my beliefs I had to mover far away from the tribe, my family of origin. The chatter in my head, of my families opinions, was enough to deal with, let alone the actual words coming out of their mouths.
I wanted to be something drastically different than most of my family. I say, “I wanted to be,” not as a defiance to be the opposite from them. Although this desire existed also. I mean that what they were, trying to tell me I was, was not who I was nor did I desire to be so.
I wanted more out of life. I didn't want to be a victim like most of my family. And the ones who were not victims were the ones perpetrating upon the victims. I would not be either. I, like many, was trained as a young child in many different ways to become submissive; fear was used to make me comply. I have been doing heaps of self work over the last couple of years that has culminated into huge changes recently.
Self care has been huge on my list lately. This topic, I believe, will be very prevalent in my work for a while since it has probably been the hugest hurdle of my life. Stepping away from what others want and listening to what I want has been a practice, for me, that has been highly difficult. Why? Because you are often seen as a bitch for doing so. Well I've decided that if it takes being seen as a bitch for a while then so be it.
I have hurdled lately, over quite a few chasms. I had been a heavy smoker for 18 years. I hated this fact, I hated smoking, I hated the way others looked at me as I smoked and most of all I hated myself for not having control over this seemingly little thing. Smoking was reeking havoc with my self-esteem and I was chastising myself constantly to ad insult to injury. On top of this nasty self-esteem robbing addiction my body was extremely out of shape and I was not happy with how I looked and felt.
With all my work on changing my thoughts over the last few years using Law of Attraction and focus, etc. I had been focusing a lot on visualizing myself as a healthy, strong, lean and a non-smoker. I had made videos of me looking exactly how I wanted. I had done these kind of exercise for short periods many years ago with little effect. The key is to do it for longer periods consistently. I had also been stating to the universe what I wanted over and over and over. I wanted to be healthy, strong, lean and smoke free.
There is a fallacy within Law of Attraction/Manifesting and that is if you focus hard enough and long enough you will suddenly have the body condition you want. The truth is that if you focus hard enough, long enough , ask for what you want, all that you need to accomplish the condition will suddenly appear. Such as the right book, for you, to help you stop smoking or the right diet or exercise program, for you to accomplish the physical condition you desire.
Just like when you ask for the business result you desire, the right person shows up to assist you in creating the business result you want.
Now I know that this seems to be off the track but bare with me.
When I finally put everyone else s opinions and wants aside and I finally focused on what Michelle wanted I was able to manifest more efficiently. My mind was not inundated with what others wanted it was drenched in what Michelle wanted and my energy began pulsating so powerfully and sending out the refined and defined signal for exactly what I wanted; and I have been smoke free for the first time in 18 years, easily, for over 4 months and I have shed 25 lbs. And I am stronger.
I am stronger, I feel amazing. I love myself so much that I could never ever do what someone else wants instead of what I want ever again.
I am one thin, strong, smoke free happy bitch!


  1. You go on ahead with your bad self! I believe the saying goes something like, "do that voodoo that you do so well!" Nothing moves in this life as dramatically, effectively, and efficiently as when one decides to truly live the life one has been given by recognizing that said life really does belong to the person to whom it has been awarded. Others may gripe, grumble, and complain, but only because they mistakenly believe it belongs to them. Better for them that you should shine like a star and have their own lives warmed in the glow than for you to shrink and shrivel and leave the world colder. Great article!

  2. Well said! Thank you for your support and wisdom.

  3. From JoAnna

    On your new post, I understand.  It's what I've gone through all my life, and still going through now.  Do you know that even though I love to write, and believe it is my source of abundant money, freedom and independence I still go through the motions to interview for jobs, send out my resumes, etc.?  It is like I need to do these things to have something to tell others so that they will believe someday I will be making money in a job.  So ridiculous.  So real.  Such a lie.  So confusing for me.
    I will let you know what my schedule is for next week as soon as I get it on Saturday.  You see, I could quit my job.  They give me only 3 hours a week to work.  But I haven't yet.  I feel as though if I do, everything that hasn't already fallen apart, will.  Awe, and maybe that is the key.  Everything falls apart in order to begin again.  Someone wrote about 'falling apart', can't remember who.  Do you?
    Regarding the decreasing hours at my job.  I do remember the belief that if you do not make the change yourself, the Universe will do it for you.  And I believe this is happening to me now.  A pushing back and shutting down of working at a job for someone else and all of the limitations and constraints that go with it.  And writing that is sitting in the wings just waiting for me to take action so that I can share and express my thoughts and so that I enjoy the abundant money, freedom and independence.


  4. Hi JoAnna,

    Thank you for your comments. You are on the right track. We manifest everything, so if deep down you don't want your job, the vibration is there regardless, and the universe knows and delivers.
    You can have anything you want, just want it!

  5. Very Good Michelle. It is all true especially leaving the tribe. I am sure you are happier for the things you have accomplished so far. Also if being a bitch is what it takes then so be it. What a wonderful article.

  6. Thank you for your comment, it's always appreciated!