That you are here is indication there is something for you to create, be and do. With every new idea your life becomes a canvass to be filled. There is nothing to complete because life is always in motion, life is always evolving and you are always growing. Nothing you have done so far was the end only the first in the series of steps waiting for more to be added to form that which you will become. Worry not that all the education, jobs, activities, or creations do not seem to go together for they will all mesh together as the collective ingredients in what you will create, be and do in the future.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Incompatible Beliefs Hinders you from Becoming Successful

Good day from my Skycastle in Germany where I enjoy the freedom for choice and the beautiful day reminds me of this.

Some time back I discovered a long standing issue of mine that I have struggled with for years; I have used other people’s behavior to validate my reason’s or excuses for why I am unable to be do or have what I desire. During this time, in turn I did not become, do or receive what I wanted. Because I believed that it was their behavior that hindered me, and since they continued the behavior, and I continued site their behavior, I was able to validate my failure. It was easy to testify the reason for my failure because the statistics proved my theory. But it only proved my theory because I believed that their behavior was the reason for my failure.

Case in point 1: My mother’s lifetime manifestations of illness, poverty and being a victim. It seemed, to me, that every time I got on a passionate roll in something I desired to do or be my mother would turn up in the hospital either from illness, a suicide attempt or a mental breakdown. Often she found herself, without money or employment, with nowhere to live having used up the willingness of people to help. In all of these manifested conditions she repeatedly stated her needy pathetic position hoping someone would feel guilty enough to rescue her. As her offspring I often felt guilty, after all she’s my mother.

So every time I wanted to do or be something my mother’s behavior reared its ugly head and my goals fell to the wayside. In turn I avoided any new project/goal because I believed if I started anything then my mother’s behavior would just end up destroying it anyway, so why bother. But like all creative people I could not put a lid on my ideas, desires to create and would start a project, all the while fearing that I would get “that call” of guilt, and I did, every time. Thus proving my statistic that I could not have the life I wanted because of my mother’s behavior. In this repeated scenario, because I believed it would happen, it continued to happen and I was able to validate my reasons for failure, testify that I could not have a happy life and was convinced that joy could not be experienced under some conditions.

There were incompatible beliefs. On one hand I believed I could do be and have everything I wanted and on the other hand I believed that my mother’s behavior had the power to put a halt to these manifestations. I was using her behavior as my excuse not to allow myself to soar. I was justifying my limitations.

Case in point 2: I always became fat, after four years of marriage, because my husband stopped having sex with me. This is almost the same scenario as the first. Yes I’ve been married several times and this came about because I would get to a point of proving that the present condition of the marriage, overweight and sexless, was his fault. After seeing that every time, at about the four year mark, the sex would stop and I would become overweight I deducted, after collecting the data, that indeed this would happen every time. I documented the statistics; marriage at the four year mark =no sex=fat woman. Because I believed this, now that I had the statistic, it occurred every time.

Again there were incompatible beliefs. On one hand I believed that it marriage could be different, after all I kept trying, and on the other hand I believed that eventually sex would be withdrawn and I would get fat. Of course this is quite a vicious cycle because the husband could validate, because I was fat, why he didn’t want to have sex.

I again was justifying my limitations and siting with what I believed was solid evidence that husbands stop having sex with you at a certain point and in turn you get fat. It was my excuse, again, not to soar.

Over and over I was testifying for my limitations. The incompatible beliefs through me out of alignment and thus I became limited. I believed in limitation.

What is interesting about this last case in point is that in my marriage now, at the four year mark I had anticipated somewhat the same occurrence. Well at the four year mark the sex was not withdrawn but I did gain a little weight; nothing like in the past. What is more interesting is that because I now do not believe so much in limitations and In my struggle to change my beliefs I have gone up and down slightly with my weight. It is a testament to believing for a while that I am unlimited and then defaulting back to believing in limitation; and my weight follows my thoughts up and down up and down. This is good news because this is showing me that what I think manifests and I am not limited.

No other persons experience ever need find its way into your experience. The only limitation that ever exists is the limitation you put on yourself. My weight is going down with every positive thought that I am unlimited. I have put my data, my justifications and my statistics away.

We often use the conditions of people and place as our excuse to why we are not happy; exchanging mates, friends, jobs or the city we live hoping that getting rid of what we believe makes us unhappy will change our life. However, we continue to take our beliefs of failure about the outside conditions with us, so nothing changes.

I can be do and have everything I desire, have the life experience I want, regardless of anybody’s behavior. I can be happy regardless of any condition and in turn the conditions change because I do not believe those conditions will affect me. My mother still struggles with being a victim (however she is a little better) and the husbands of the past still play out the same scenario in their marriages.

And I am still married (well past the four year mark) having a lot of great sex, I’m getting thinner by the thought and I am happy and hugely unlimited.

So if you are using other people’s opinions or behavior as an excuse to why you are not living the life experience you prefer you will never have the joyful life experience you prefer. No one is ever responsible for your unhappiness.

You are unlimited and there is nothing you can’t do be or have. What you believe is the key. Believe that you are unlimited, think without limits.

The Universe is the limit! How exciting to know that you can manifest everything you ever wanted to do, be and have.

And yes, people do change. I did.

Focus on what you want, stay out of other’s business and return return and return again to your powerful ability to manifest an unlimited joyful life experience.

The answer to every question is; focus on what you want.

Be Well

Love Michelle


  1. Dear Michelle,

    You certainly hit a point with me. I so appreciate your thoughts in this post. I, too, am placing limitations and blame on; my job and the decreasing hours and pay. I am trying to financially live within the means that are placed on me, but it cannot be so. I can leave at any time. But this makes my belief that I have a limited and insufficient income become true.

    I place limitations and negative thoughts on my writing, saying it is not good enough, no one cares and I will never be able to make the money I want as a writer. This is actually blaming those who would buy what I write and they won't, who could encourage me into writing more.

    Every limited thought about money is now engulfing me and I am frightened, by not having a sufficient and abundant income.

    Ouch! There, I said it out loud.

  2. Beloved JoAnna,

    You are the beam of the pure morning light, joyful laughter and love. You only have to love JoAnna and do what brings JoAnna joy. The only thing really important is the fulfillment and love of self. Fall in love with JoAnna.

    You have given authority, on your life on your writing, to others
    Truly you must write for JoAnna, write things that bring JoAnna joy, write for the love of JoAnna. Then others will love what JoAnna writes.

    Focus not on unwanted conditions. Stop scaring yourself with the thoughts of limitation. If needed review the safety nets in your life, i.e. those people and programs that will assist you in basic survival to assure yourself. Then quickly move into the thoughts of the possibilities. Focus on what you truly want. If you want the job you have and want it to become more financially beneficial then visualize it how you desire. If you do not really want the job you have then visualize the perfect work scenario that will bring you abundance and joy. Sometimes the best thing we can do is tear down, de-construct or destroy the present life and then rebuild. Before I had the life I have now I let go of the house I possessed, I literally burned those things that meant nothing in a bonfire in the backyard, I lent the vehicles I owned to those who needed them, and I left the country and manifested the life experience I preferred.

    The way that you become fulfilled and love JoAnna is doing only what brings JoAnna joy. There is nothing you have to do, only love JoAnna then all else shall fall into place.
    Be Well
    Love Michelle