That you are here is indication there is something for you to create, be and do. With every new idea your life becomes a canvass to be filled. There is nothing to complete because life is always in motion, life is always evolving and you are always growing. Nothing you have done so far was the end only the first in the series of steps waiting for more to be added to form that which you will become. Worry not that all the education, jobs, activities, or creations do not seem to go together for they will all mesh together as the collective ingredients in what you will create, be and do in the future.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Answer to every question is, “Focus on that Which you Want”

Hello, from another grand morning in Germany. It is raining however the birds continue to sing and the air is fresh. I am feeling good for I continue to focus on that which I want.

I wanted to first describe myself prior to discovering that I manifest my experience. I have never really been what you would call a religious person, not in the common secular sense. True I have explored many religions in my spiritual journey; never absolutely disqualifying any particular philosophy, remembering that there is a little truth in all. There is truth and untruth in most reports of ideals.

The doctors speak of the truth that the human body often experiences degeneration and illness. The doctors also speak the untruth that the human body cannot stop degeneration and heal illness with anything other than modern medicine. Furthermore that there are some illness that have no cure.

The minister speaks the truth that God exists and loves us. The minister also speaks the untruth that God is separate from us and condemns us for our sins.

Humanity speaks the truth that they can have and be anything they want. Humanity also speaks the untruth that they are not the ones manifesting that which they want, only God does this after evaluating whether we deserve what we want.

So in my religious research I sought the truths within the various religions. I knew that there were some truths from the beginning. I knew that there had to be some truth for I felt the presence of Source in my soul. I was never so arrogant to think that we just appeared without some great Omnipresence participation. We, humans, are too amazing, our bodies intrinsically designed and functioning with such precision that only a great Omnipresence could have created such a machine.

However, I was continually disillusioned and disappointed to find so much restriction and judgment within the walls of what is suppose to be a sacred, safe and loving house. It’s also such a limited belief, “The House of God” As if God could be housed. Boxed up like a shipment.

I entered the church of the Nazarene and found much love and a collection of people who were quit committed to the politics of their church. I was a teenager then and I did love attending the beautiful construction atop a hill, in the country of Illinois, where in the Fall the surrounding foliage was adorned in brilliant gold’s, red’s and orange’s. Actually my attraction to this church had more to do with the beautiful sacred spirit of nature than anything else. I sat in the church gazing out the window at the trees and hillside, the voice at the altar a distant drone, while I worshiped nature. I do not remember any message from this church, save the politics. There was probably not a fair assessment of this religion. But I never really felt compelled to return, as an adult, for further research.

As an adult I entered another church, Mormon, once by the insistence of a distraught husband who was sure that the church would keep our marriage together and later once again to please a prospective lover. The first time I attended, not of my choosing I found one pleasing element; the women’s group. It was a tight nit supportive group and it’s where I first realized the powerful and beautiful kinship with women. However, this was where the beauty seized for me. We were only to wear dresses or skirts, pants not allowed at church. I love my jeans. It seemed so ridiculous. The men were in charge and it became highly obvious when my husband became an elder in the church, insisted I be baptized and literally dragged me into the water and did so, himself. I did not feel cleansed and renewed I felt drowned like a rat. Keep in mind I was only 20, had only been away from my childhood home a few years and he was a strong and willful man. Needless to say after this baptism and numerous Sunday’s of being drug out of bed, by my husband, by my feet to attend church I was disgruntled to say the least. I soon discovered that my husband was being counseled on how to mold me into the proper subservient wife I should become. Eventually I left my husband, he soon returned to his old ways of drugging and negative view of life.

The second time I entered the Mormon Church was to please a prospective lover; who soon, after being discovered to have coupled with me, received threats to excommunicate me from the church and he to be reprimanded, left me in the dust. Needless to say I was crushed and finally dismayed when a male member of the church, whom I never even met and whom was given my address, by the church, unauthorized by me, banged at my door to court me. Because I was a Mormon Woman without a husband, who had lost her way, and the Church had sent a pitiful needy sheep to lure me back to a virtuous Mormon standing. I was dumbfounded, dismayed and obviously angry. I sent a letter to the President of the LDS Church threatening charges, recieved a formal apology and I never heard from them again. Anyhow, I did not find my answer’s there.

Finally I entered the Catholic Church upon seeking answers and well honestly to gain acceptance in my new marriage and family; where I found much love and support from the members and acceptance from my new mother-in-law. Additionally I found that I was a sinner, undeserving of the love of God offered there, and that even thou I was an undeserving sinner, who may practice iniquities I could repent and be forgiven in confession. Forgiveness is never necessary my friends, redirection to a better growth spurring decision is all that is needed. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, there is only a decision to be made as to whether this you think of doing will grow you in Love or in Fear; if you make the decision of Love, then all else will fall into a beautiful place.

So, I eventually landed, for some time, in the Unity Church. This was a fine place where all are accepted regardless of their race, creed, color or sex. There was no crucifixion upon the walls of the church, there was no need for a confessional, there was no fire and brimstone and anyone could wear pants or a dress if he wishes. I met so many wonderful and loving people there. I taught Sunday school, sang in the choir joyously and found many of the answers I was seeking. There was joy, acceptance, divinity and laughter at Unity Church. There were a few things, such as social politics, that I wasn’t very happy with but all in all it was a jumping off point for my understanding of the true nature of God, right thinking and something called the beatitudes. My children also have very fond memories of attending Unity.

I left Unity, when the politics got out of hand and became too uncomfortable. My spiritual path was moving on and upward.

Along with trying to find my answers in religion I sought answers to my problems in books. Every time I felt the rise of discontent, depression and fear I ran to the book store. Well first I would wonder the city, looking for my answers ending up in the retail stores deciding to purchase something that would make me feel good. And for a while it worked, so I continued to shop when I felt bad or lost. Eventually shopping no longer did the trick. I would wonder from Mall to Mall, but now realizing the purchase no longer satisfied me, I resolved to search the bookstores for the answers. Oh I had a collection of self-help books lining my shelves. Most had only been cracked with maybe a chapter or two read before I closed it convinced, “That Book” did not have my answers. However, after many years, of two chapters read from each book, I had collected enough answers to begin formulating my accession of life. I had put my understanding of life into a nice little box and conducted my life according to its contents. And my way worked, for awhile. I realized, now of course, that some of my understanding and accession was correct was truth, but rather limited and narrow.

One day I, after noticing that a very close family member was following my lead and for the most part doing well with my way, became alarmed because I realized she was living my answers; not hers.

Anyway, I continued to research, contemplate, analyze and pick apart the world the universe and my box of accessions. I wrote in my journal day after day, month after month and year after year. One day, after 20 years of journaling, I read an old journal from years earlier and I was sickened. Whine whine whine, lament lament lament the journal was filled with fear, judgment, guilt and reproach after reproach. I was disgusted with myself. It was a good awareness after all I had come far enough in my understanding that I was able to see my old narrow understanding clearly.

Soon after this I had experienced a life altering event. My daughter, Kesha a sailor at the time, was wounded almost killed in the terrorist bombing attack on the ship the USS Cole, in the port of Yemen, Aiden. Everything changed. My life became more precious and I was no longer satisfied with the life I had accepted. I divorced, gave up my house, sold all my things, became homeless for a short while in the process, meanwhile wrote a book about our experience with the bombing and finally landed in the arms of a magnificent, loving high energy entity called, Jerome.

Jerome taught me, and continues to teach me, to explore and seek great adventure. He made me question my virtuous ways, that I was sure would bring me happiness. He made me question all that I believed. He made me realize the whole of my world, the possibilities and brought me great globetrotting adventures and stretched my box out piercing holes in its structure, which today is an almost disintegrated box.

I can see that I have been a seeker of truth and one who seeks to change that which I do not like or want. This was the beginning of my direction shift. But I still kept looking for the answers to my problems, to the spinning worries of the future in my head; in books, in the media and in other people’s opinions. I could not control my thoughts of worry, no answer seemed to fix my problems, no answer seemed to appease me for very long before I returned to my lamenting thoughts and disenchantment. Until…

Until all my study on the Law of Attraction came together. Everything I learned from many different sources on the Law of Attraction stated one continuing theme.
Every question, that anyone asked, had the same answer. “Focus on that which you want”
Student; I don’t have enough money to pay all of my bills and just don’t know what to do. It seems that no matter which way I turn or what I do it doesn’t change.
Teacher; Focus on what you want. You want more money focus on the thought, feeling it already present, that you are abundant.

Student; I am worried about my son’s depression and drug use and I fear where he is headed.

Teacher; Focus on what you want. See him as whole, healthy and happy.

Student; I am lonely and wish I could find the lover of my dreams but he just doesn’t show up.

Teacher; Focus on what you want, not what you don’t have. See yourself with the lover of your dreams feeling happy and loved.

So, noticing this theme in my studies, I began, every time my mind was swimming with fear and worry, shifting to focusing on what I want. When I felt worried and felt the rising in my stomach, of fear and then the urgency to look for an answer to make me feel better, I stopped and thought of the things I wanted. I focused on something I wanted. Every time for months, I shifted as quickly as I could out of that urgency to seek an old ineffective answer to thinking of that which I wanted.

Behold, it worked. Time after time it worked until at first I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it and then finally bypassing the initial worrying and rising in the morning with only thoughts of what I wanted. True the old worrying ways slip in from time to time, but I know what to do. I know how to feel better and I manifest that which I focus on. I worry so much less today. It is a grand feeling. I trust in the process, focusing on what I want, changing my beliefs eventually. I manifest my experience.

Remember an earlier post, about ignoring a continuing belief. Attending to that bill quickly and then immediately moving onto focusing on what you want. Remember that. It is part of, “The answer to every question, is focus on that which you want”

Be joyous, be lighthearted and Manifest

Be Well
Love Michelle


  1. Michelle, I love your blog. I can't even begin to respond to the posts I have read. All my thoughts are a jumble because I have so many responses...questions...thoughts. I will try to organize them into something..soon. Just know that this is feeding me. And I think that is your purpose.

  2. Delana,Thank you for your wonderful words of support, they mean so much to me. Your beautiful energy feeds me. I look forward to seeing your future questions, thoughts and comments.
    Be Well
    Love Michelle